I Hate My Hate

One of the things the second Trump presidency has taught me is how to hate another human being. I'm not sure how I feel about this aspect of myself.

Pre-Trump I

Prior to the first Trump Presidency, I can honestly say I did not hate another human being.

I hate actions viscerally, I hate ideologies vehemently, and I hate ideas passionately. But not people. I still maintain these thoughts and actions are the target of my ire.

A great example is the hatred of LGBTQIA+ folks by most organized religion. Religion isn't a person, and the concept that people take of bigotry is the target of my hate. I wasn't hating the person, but rather those ideas and the actions they took that stemmed from them.

I hate your religion because it teaches hatred of people. I hate the actions of your religious institution for the same. I hate that you've taken on that idea, and I hate the actions you take because of the shit people you trust have fed to you. I even hate that you can't stop and tell the difference between a good and bad idea, yourself.

But, I didn't hate you; the person wasn't the target of my ire.

Central Tenants of Ideology

One of the central tenants of my ideology is that the individual is the most important concept to preserve, protect, and keep free.

This doesn't conflict with prisons, however they are looked at a lot differently. The whole concept of such a place is to keep someone who is currently incompatible with society safe, where they can learn and study at their own pace, with resources and love and care all around them, so they can figure out better choices to make in the future.
Restorative justice, not punitive justice.

Yes, this is fully incompatible with modern Capitalist systems, and virtually all religious teachings.

I was able to maintain this difference - person vs ideas and actions - right up till recently.

Trump II: Electric Boogaloo

Now, though, I find myself actually hating people - specifically those who continually hurt others.

I don't like a bully at the best of times, but I tried hard to watch their actions and words through the lens of "hurt people" hurt people. No excuse for such abhorrent acts - mind you - but an understanding and a place from which to grow and be better.

However, in many instances, the cruelty is the point of these policies these people enact. They saw the damage they caused prior, they are told repeatedly how much damage they're going to cause, and try to double-down to create the most pain and suffering across the largest swath of lives as they can.

I don't see them as capable of learning, capable of being better, anymore.

Logically it follows then, that the people incapable of change are just evil people. Hate the simplest source - the person.

This is the antithesis to progressive movement politics - to my ideology - yet here we are.

Where Do I Go From Here

I don't have an answer to this, yet. I find myself at odds. I don't feel I've been given options in this, and I hate that aspect even more.

I don't like this feeling - at all. I was a very violent child and I know within me is a very violent adult that I have spent decades working on. I have tempered my absolute rage into an effective, progressive force for good in my community.

I made this world better out of spite; simply to annoy powerful people who's actions cause harm to others, all the while throwing back in the face of the powerful what they're doing wrong. In those cases, the targets of my ire - the rich and powerful - stll had a conscience and at least an understanding of right and wrong, so they'd at least feel like shit. Plus, I'd be helping people in my community - win/win.

Now - how am I supposed to attack someone I hate personally in a productive manor? I do not want to return to the violence of my youth - I didn't like myself then and I don't like that version of me now. I'm very proud of how I've grown as a person, and how peaceful I am capable of being in horrid situations.

I don't have an answer to this change, yet.

I think I hate that most of all.